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i think one of the saddest things i ever see…or even personally experience…is when friendships fall apart or family relationships grow distant or people who love each other drift away because assumptions are made.
if you are the one making assumptions, you have three choices:
one, you can choose not to believe your assumptions and trust the strength and loyalty of your relationship instead. you can refuse to give in to your feelings or your interpretation of events, stay the course, and have faith that the foundation you have built is true.
this is more than giving a person the benefit of the doubt. it’s holding on with assurance…offering forgiveness or grace where it is needed…and going forward with absolute confidence. and then you work harder than ever to make sure those assumptions never return.
two, you can talk. you realize that the relationship is worth your best effort. you acknowledge you are hurt or frustrated or simply confused by the apparent actions of your friend or family member. you trust that there is still something worth salvaging and hold tightly to it.
you recognize that if your feelings go unchecked or your assumptions go unchallenged, you could lose what you have had in the past. so you give the benefit of the doubt, and talk.
or three, you give in to your assumptions, believe what your thinking, and let the relationship begin to unravel. it will be slow at first. in the beginning, the person (or people) won’t have any idea you are letting the foundation crumble.
you’ll mask what’s really going on. you may even be deceiving yourself…painting on a smile and acting like everything’s ok. slowly, but surely, things will never be the same.
so if you are making some assumptions about people you love (or have a significant relationship with), what are you gonna do?
trust…talk…or keep letting the relationship suffer?
it’s all up to you.
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