Relationships with skin

this afternoon, i was reading an article about the rise of instant messaging throughout our society…with both kids and adults. there’s some pretty amazing figures about how many “im” and how much they do it.

(ok…i’m just now getting back to writing because i was just answering a text from one of the kids in our youth group. talk about current…) anyway, one of the things the article says is that 43% of teenagers use it to say things to people that they wouldn’t say in person. accepting dates, turning down dates, breaking up, “facing” conflict, expressing anger. this doesn’t surprise me. but a comment by a 34 year old adult is the one that leaves me frustrated:

Danny Hitt, 34, a real estate agent in Riverside, Calif., says he has chatted with four or five IM buddies at once — a number some teens would consider embarrassingly low. He prefers the telephone for important communications. “To me, a significant conversation takes a phone call,” Hitt said. “The inflection in the voice, you lose that” with instant messages. significant conversations take place on the phone? you gotta be kidding me. what is happening to us? my frustration with the comment is that it’s true. and he’s not even telling the half of it. we have become people that hide behind phone calls and emails and text messages and fake handshakes and distant smiles and unresolved conflicts and fear that speaking the truth will draw us into relationships that will demand more of us than we want to give.

i’m with danny…you lose the inflection of the voice with instant messages. and you lose connection with no eye contact…and you lose conviction with no body language…and you lose trust with no smile and confidence with no heart.

i like relationship with skin. even if there’s bad news. being part of a body demands it.