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years ago, i was a really young and green youth minister, starting my first full-time, church ministry. i was well-trained, but definitely in over my head. i was impressionable and trusting.
the church i served was a big one and it was just getting ready to break ground on a brand new big old building where we would hold our worship services. they had apparently outgrown the old one and it was time to move forward and build something that was more reflective and appealing to the affluent culture of our community.
as part of my interview process, the leaders of the church walked me around the facility and showed me what all of their dreams for growth and expansion would look like. they took me through a tour of the current-but-soon-to-be-former-sanctuary, and told me that as soon as we moved into the new building, the old one would be dedicated to youth ministry.
they showed me how it was going to be turned into a gym and youth worship facility…complete with a new sound system and meeting rooms and offices for youth ministry. needless to say, i was stoked beyond words. it was a dream come true for me!
to make a long story (ten years of struggle) short, it never happened. the building program sucked the life out of our church family and the money out of our budget. some influential families and leaders began to push for the creation of a christian school and they ultimately took control of the old sanctuary and turned it into classrooms for the school…while i watched my dream die a slow, agonizing death right before my eyes.
i tried, for years, to hold our leaders to their promise. it never worked. the momentum that the school was building was way too powerful. i know my relationship with leaders and families…many of whom were close, personal friends… became adversarial. it’s still painful to remember.
overall, it was an amazing decade of my life. there are stories and stories of god’s greatness and power written all over those years of youth ministry. in so many ways, i am who i am because of what happened during those years. but it is not without a huge bucket of sadness that is part of my past. after ten years, i ultimately left with a lot of unfulfilled dreams and enormous disappointments…but better for all of it.
here are a couple of lessons i learned:
you don’t need a fancy building to do good ministry. buildings are luxuries, not necessities. as a matter of fact, fancy buildings and top-notch, quality facilities and equipment might even curb creativity. doing ministry with less…less building, less money, less equipment, less comfort…has actually forced me to focus more on higher priorities of relationship building, simplicity, authentic worship, serving, identifying with the less fortunate and being content and grateful for what we do have.
secondly, i learned at a really young ministry age, that leaders are just people. they make mistakes. they break promises. they lose focus. but they are just people. they may not be trustworthy, but i still needed to trust. and i needed to guard my heart against bitterness. it’s a lesson i have held tightly my whole life.
what made me think of this? i recently got a couple of pictures from an old friend who still attends that church and is an integral part of their current leadership team. they are tearing down my old building. the pictures opened up some old wounds in my memory. they also reminded me of great days of learning and the shaping of my ministry character.
i’m a really fortunate guy.
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