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i’ve been doing marriage tuesdays for over a year-and-a-half. there is one topic that i find myself circling back to again and again.
talking.
there’s no question that i feel talking with each other is the oxygen that every marriage needs to survive. it is the greatest gift wanda and i have ever given to each other.
most marriage counselors would agree that the greatest problems in marriages are the result of struggles in the following areas:
relationship with in-laws
sexual intimacy
money
children
career demands
some would add communication to the list, but i see it as an entirely separate area that exerts it’s influence into every area of conflict.
there are some couples that have unbelievably difficult and demanding interference from their parents…moms or dads who still control either overtly or subversively…or both.
there are many, many couples who struggle deeply trying to cultivate a healthy and mutually fulfilling sexual life together…and the tragedy is that most will suffer in silence, rather than seek help or counsel.
still other relationships are suffocating under the weight of debt…some because of financial mismanagement…some because of the economic fallout.
for all the joy that children bring, there is an equal amount of stress, life-change, worry, grief, and emotional upheaval that puts every marriage at risk.
finally, for a lot of couples, the demands of career goals…job requirements… out-of-control schedules…unrealistic occupational expectations…are sucking the life right out of their relationships.
here’s the deal. the real tragedy is not that these kinds of difficulties have to be faced. no. the real tragedy is that couples don’t know how to have…or simply avoid having… meaningful, heart-to-heart conversation about these things.
every couple has to deal with in-law issues…sex issues…money issues…kid issues…job and schedule issues. it comes with life. no couple is exempt. we’ve all been there. we’ll all be there again.
so unless you want to watch your marriage go down the toilet…or just grow into stagnant nothingness…learn to talk with each other.
quick.
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