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Marriage Tuesday

Writer's picture: Mark RoseMark Rose

hey!   there’s a new dating service for christians!  it’s called christian mingle.

i’m glad i don’t have to date.   i would be horrible at it.   frankly the thought of it just frightens me.   i’ve only asked one girl out on a date in my life.   then i married her.   i suppose you could say i was a success at dating.

in spite of my novice stature as a dater,  i can confidently tell you that if i had some dating eligibility,  i would be all over a dating service.   they sound pretty cool to me.   i know some people have a moral problem with them.   others can site some practical potholes in the systems.   but i,  for one,  see them full of amazing potential.

but i do have a problem with christian mingle.   it’s not because i’m old fashioned…or that i don’t believe god can bring people together with this service.   no…i have a theological problem.

with the company’s tag line:   christian mingle.  find god’s match for you.

this isn’t necessarily just a problem with the dating service.   it’s more of an overall theological wrestling match that i seem to have most everyday of my life.

if finding god’s match for your life is such an important thing   (and we christians have this tendency to say that our marriage decision may be the single most important decision we will ever make in our lifetime),  why does god seem to play games with us?

if god is in the business of matching people up because that’s what he wants to happen…and it’s so incredibly important,  why does he mess around with it?   isn’t he powerful enough to make it happen?    why doesn’t he just snap his fingers?   does god really need this service to help him out?

the inference is that god has this person out there for me… and he is just playing a little hide and seek .   seems confusing.   seems cruel.   seems disingenuous.   seems sneaky.   seems manipulative.

and while we’re on this theological wrestling mat,  how does christian mingle  know that you can find god’s match for you by using their service.   how would they know?   how would you know?   maybe i’m just a little cynical,  but it sure seems like christian organizations are pretty fond of using god talk  to spiritually bully needy people.

so let’s go over this to be sure i’m not misunderstood:   i’m all for you dating…as long as you’re not married.   i’m all for you using a dating service.   i’m all for you not using a dating service.   whatever.

i’ve always been a little sketchy on whether god has a particular person out there waiting to be matched up with the right person over there.   what if you miss the divine hook-up because you ducked into mcdonald’s at just the wrong time?   what if you sign up for the wrong dating service and end up messing the whole thing to pieces?

i know the mystical part of finding the will of god for your life sounds really romantic,  but maybe good marriages are more about being the right person,  than finding the right person.

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