Letters to Holden and Nolan

peanut and pickle…

tonight,  while mimi and i were out grabbing some dinner,  we saw a dad and his little boy sitting at a table near us…and it totally took me back to the days when your daddy was just little boy.

i loved taking him out to eat…just the two of us…and having our time together.

during the years we lived in san diego,  your daddy and i had a favorite restaurant we liked to go to.   it was our special place to hang out.   it was called  “wings and things”,  on el cajon boulevard.  

i remember they had the most awesome boneless buffalo wings…and the even more awesome bread sticks…i have ever eaten.

but it wasn’t the food that made it special.

it was the time spent with your daddy.

i would pick him up after school and we would make our way there.   we would get our food and grab a table so we could see whatever sports they had up on the television screen.   even to this day,  we still love watching sports together.   just like you guys are starting to do!

we would watch a little and eat a little.   and talk a lot.   it was there that i heard about how school was going and what kinds of friends he was making and the joys and struggles of baseball.   or soccer.   or basketball.

we would also talk about his fears and frustrations and things that didn’t make sense to him.   and the same for me.   we would talk about faith and god and church.   i’m  pretty sure we probably had some of our first talks about s-e-x there…over some buffalo chicken.

i always tried to make it a safe place to talk.   “wings and things” was a place where i tried to pass on ideas and values that were important to me.   i told stories and gave insights.   i did my best to listen and really hear what your daddy would say.  

i’m sure there were times he just wanted to sit in silence and i didn’t get it!   there were probably other times i completely missed the mark.   but i bet when you’re old enough to ask him about those days at “wings and things”,  he’ll remember them fondly.   i know i do.   some days i wish i could go back for just one more bread stick and talk again…like we used to.

i still know your daddy pretty well.   you guys are going to get to have your special places to eat with him.   he’s going to take you out and watch some sports on the television and do his very best listen to you and give you room to tell him what you’re going through.

he’s going to want to help you the best he can.   he’ll tell you stories and remind  you of the things that are most important to him.   he’ll have years of wisdom to pass on to you.   he’ll tell you about mistakes he’s made and incredible successes he’s experienced.

he’ll teach you about love and faith.   he may even teach you a few things i taught him along the way.

so here’s my message to you guys:   pay attention.   you have much to learn.

and some of the best teaching you’ll ever get will come from your daddy…and the private meals you’ll share him along the way.

grow wise,  grasshoppers.

papi

#daddy #listening #talking #wingsandthings