Disappointed…

I was faced today with the reality that some of the things I want…I mean really want…are things that are out of my control. It looks like they are just within my reach, but in actuality, they are really pretty distant. Faint hopes.

I can see what I want my world to look like (in different packages and situations), but so many of those realities are being held in the hands of other people…away from my influence, away from my ability to alter the outcome. It’s sad. It’s frustrating. It’s just the way it is.

I bet if there was one foundational truth that I have taught more times…to more people…in more situations, it would have to be the message of contentment.

The apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4 that he had learned the secret of being content in any and every situation he found himself in…whether he had everything he needed or wanted…or whether he found himself in absolute need. He had learned that true contentment was not conditional, nor was it situational.

Contentment is that state of inner satisfaction wherever we find ourselves. Real contentment does not depend on favorable circumstances or having everything we want or being able to manipulate the outcome. Contentment does not happen because we got what we wanted. It happens in spite of it.

It is being at peace in the midst of a potential emotional storm.

How do we experience contentment? Here are a few thoughts from one frustrated fellow-traveler:

Learning to be content does not happen overnight. It takes a lifetime. It has a lot to do with the kind of environment we grow up in…the way we see our parents handle difficulties and disappointments. Discontent happens in proportion to unrealistic expectations. We have to learn to be reasonable and understanding of the limitations and shortcomings of the people we deal with. We have to be able to see what others see and feel, as much as we can, what they are feeling.

Learning to be content in the “little things” happens because we have learned to be content with the “biggest things”. People make careers of succumbing to the disappointment of minor issues and annoyances. These are not life and death. We just make ourselves feel like they are.

When Paul writes, “My God will supply all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus”, we either believe it or we don’t. Either Jesus is really enough, or we’re just deceiving ourselves.

If, because of Jesus, I am having my most important needs met (the need for belonging…the need for personal worth…the need for purpose and direction…the need for wisdom and understanding…the need for comfort…the need for forgiveness…the need for an example), then I am free to face situations that I don’t like, with a level of contentment that refuses to demand it’s own way…that refuses to requires others to give me what I want.

This is neither martyrdom, nor is it empty resignation. It is simply contentment that comes from tempered expectations and a trust that God will…and does…in fact, provide all that we really need.

#contentment