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for me, the most compelling teaching about divorce in the bible are the words that jesus spoke in matthew 19:
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,’ and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:3-9
here are a few observations:
the first is the biggest and the foundation of any teaching or understanding we should have about divorce. it is the heart of god on marriage. in other words, you want to know what god thinks about divorce? that’s the wrong question. we need to be asking what he thinks about marriage!
the bible states that, according to god, marriage is a uniquely created union that can only exist between a male and a female who leave their parents and forge a new union as husband and wife. before that, they were individuals…free beings who could choose their own course without considering how their decisions would affect the life and future of a partner. but marriage changes that.
the two become one. this relationship is not conditional. it is permanent. it is binding. god says that the two, the man and the woman, become one flesh. the hebrew concept of the mingling of souls…the pressing together of bodies, hearts, minds, wills, and dreams.
to separate a marriage is like trying to “un-mix” two different balls of playdough after they have been rolled together and kneaded into a completely different shade…or trying to separate the individual ingredients of cake batter after it has come out of the mixing bowl…or attempting to put paint back to its original colors after two color tints have been combined, mixed, shaken and sealed in a can. it’s absolutely crazy to think we would ever attempt to do these things…and that’s how crazy the concept of divorce is to god!
marriage…according to the heart and intent of god…is something that he brings together. how dare we mess with something…destroy something…rip something apart…that god, himself, is the author and giver of? i’m afraid that some of us need to rethink the whole concept of marriage before we dare undermine what god is doing. maybe a thorough understanding of what marriage is would keep us from entering into it so casually in the first place.
second, as a point of reference, this passage makes it clear that god did not create, command, teach, institute, or even validate divorce. in the law of moses in the old testament (which god delivered to moses), it merely states that god permitted divorce. it was something that was happening, and god gave them a law to regulate it and give it definition and consequence.
finally, jesus states the only reason…the one and only reason that divorce ever happens.
this is getting good. more tomorrow.
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