Conflict

for some reason,  all day long i have been wrestling with incredibly conflicting feelings…

on the one hand,  i feel unbelievably grateful and humbled that i am permanently embedded in top ten percent of the wealthiest and most privileged people on the planet.   i didn’t earn it.   i don’t deserve it.   there is no way that i am better or more deserving than others.   no way.

i have fresh water anytime.   everyday.   i have a bed of my own.   i have multiple food choices.   anytime.   i have my own cars and televisions and a closet full of clothes…for any kind of weather.   i’ve never counted,  but i bet i have 15 pairs of shoes.   15!   the majority of the world has none of this.

i have an education.   i have pretty  good health…and access to good health care  (no matter what plan we end up with).   i have a roof over my head…good roads to drive on…opportunities for employment if i ever get my butt fired…i have not one, but two window air conditioners,  along with an old,  but still functioning house a/c unit…unlimited recreational opportunities…and abundant medicine to take when i’m not feeling my best.

i have more than everything i need.   way more.   i have tons of  things i want.   i do not have the words to express my gratitude for the life i live.

on the other hand, i am unspeakably embarrassed for any of the times i ever whine about how difficult my life is or any sense of entitlement that creeps its way into my heart.

i’m in the top ten percent of the most privileged people on the globe.

wow.   humbled and thankful does not even come close to what i should feel every moment of every day.

#gratitude #humility #money