a thought about friendship

over the course of my lifetime, i’ve never chosen to walk away from a friendship…not a real friendship.

i’ve been hurt.  i’ve been in positions of vulnerability with people who did not have my best interest in mind.  i’ve even been in relationships with people who have hurt my family members.  But somewhere inside of me, i always left the door open for reconciliation.  some call me stupid for being that way, but it’s my orientation.  it’s part of my dna.  it’s how god has wired me.

i also know that throughout my lifetime, people have walked away from friendship with me.  not a lot, but frankly, one is too many!  maybe it was something i did…or didn’t do.  maybe it was because we didn’t share the same opinion on important issues.  perhaps, it was a decision that i made that created frustration or hurt or fear and they felt a line needed to be drawn and distance needed to be created.  maybe they lost respect for me.  maybe they thought i didn’t care.  maybe they perceived me to be a threat to their world.  maybe they could no longer trust me.  it could be they just don’t like me anymore…even though i think i’m an incredibly likeable fellow…

years ago, in my desire to do the right things for some friends i cared deeply about, i hurt them.  although  they were right on a number of counts, i still felt my motives were misunderstood and my actions were unfairly judged.  i was perceived as a threat and friendship was forever terminated.  no cracks in the door.  no opportunity for reconciliation.  

i learned a lot about myself that i have tried to change through that incident.  i feel i am a better man…a better brother…a better leader…and a better follower of christ because of what happened.  as painful as it was, i am grateful for the experience.

one of the things i vowed back then was never to close the door on a friendship and walk away.  although some would walk away from me, i would not walk away from them. i decided i would always make room for dialogue…honest dialogue…wherever there was a wall.  i know that even after honest attempts at keeping the door open, sometimes i will just have to let people move on.  But I will always keep the light on and the door cracked.  i love hope…

how about you?  have you ever walked away from a friendship?  why?

have you ever had a friend walk away from you without the opportunity to talk and understand?

#friends #reconciliation