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i’m sure there are going to be layers and layers of coverage of the death of junior seau in the days and weeks to come. it always happens when a celebrity dies a tragic death.
for the uninitiated, seau was the long-time san diego charger captain and one of the greatest linebackers in the history of the national football league from 1990 – 2009. he was found wednesday morning in his san diego home with an apparent self-inflicted gun shot wound to his chest. dead at 43.
so many feelings. so many thoughts. here are two tonight:
first, san diego is unlike most other major metropolitan areas in the united states. there’s nothing like texas homerism… but san diego has a different kind of loyalty. small town vibe. mega multi-cultural. red-headed step child of los angeles…and no true san diegan would have it any other way.
texas is home now, but i will always be from san diego. and every san diegan knows that there are two icons that will forever own san diego. the first is tony gwynn. graduate of san diego state…20 years with the san diego padres…and now the coach of the san diego state aztec baseball team.
the other was junior seau. he was a local boy from oceanside. a samoan by decent, who went on to star at southern cal. drafted by the chargers in 1990, he defined the linebacker postition for a new generation. but more than that, his presence in the locker room, on the field of play, and in the community defined superstar humility and charity.
i’m pretty confident that most anybody from san diego feels this loss in a personal way. this is not celebrity idolatry. this is more like a loss in the family. the explanation is lacking, but not the sincerity. i am profoundly sad tonight. for his mom. for his children. for the rest of his family. his presence in his hometown…my hometown… will be missed.
my second thought is this: in a twisted sort of way, i hope it is found that his death was a homicide. suicide is unspeakable darkness. it is overwhelming to imagine what emptiness must have led up to the decision to take his own life. and this sadness is not just for seau, but for anyone who is so overcome by internal pain they would choose to end their existence.
if his death was truly by suicide, there is a tremendous lesson to be learned. it is pretty well documented that junior seau was immensely private when it came to his injuries. he never wanted his teammates to know when he was hurt. he counted it his duty to be strong for them…if they were really going to follow his lead. he never wanted their attention and he never wanted to show weakness.
as heroic as that sounds, it may have been the very thing that set him up for the ultimate failure. i wonder if there was emotional pain and disconnect that nobody ever knew about? could this moment of dark despair have had a different outcome if he would have just let somebody know of his personal demons?
friends cannot really be friends, if there is no honesty.
the lesson in this tragedy is for all of us…especially men. we’ve got to let people inside. we’ve got to share the pain of our journey with those we hold closest. we’ve got to let people who are wiser, stronger, deeper and more experienced show us the way to the light.
before it’s too late.
i hope his death will help somebody make the decision to leave their private prison and go get help. maybe that’s you.
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