A little introspection this morning

those who know me really well know that periodically, i can go through a depressive cycle.  it’s usually brought on by life events that undermine my self-esteem or cause me to question the value or worth of my life effort.

(…as a side note, i think i ought to write a little about depression one of these days.  it is an issue that faces many, if not the majority of people in our culture.  failure, rejection, loss, fear, guilt, pain…you name it…are all triggers that can result in the paralysis of depression.  what do you think?)

i’ve gone through one of those stretches recently and when i do, i always seem to come through on the other side with new insight about myself, or about god, or about friendship, or about loyalty, …but always about truth.  this time has been no different.

truth is, i crave depth.  depth of friendship…depth of conversation…depth of meaning.  i want…and need…friends that talk honestly and deeply…unafraid to speak the truth and stay close enough to heal and forgive (when it’s required).

i love to play and laugh and hang out.  i love to talk about sports and jobs and politics and education and television shows and the best new tools for home improvement.  let’s face it, i can talk shallow and surface and meaningless stuff with the best of you!

but at the end of the day, i crave heart to heart.  i long for friendship that goes below the surface.  the relationship that goes beyond what i do to who i am is what brings me to wholeness.  i want to have people in my life who want to know about what i believe and what moves me to tears and what i’m afraid of and what grabs my heart.

i want people in my life who want to talk about purpose, and not just events…meaning, and not just effort…destiny, and not just destination…doubts and fears, and not just frustrations…the grace of god, and not just religion…truth, and not just the church…heart and passion, and not just personal goals.

i have some of those people.  i want more.  i need more.

how about you?  do you live deep below the surface…or are you skimming?  what are you offering to others?  what are you requiring of others?

go deeper.  now.

#friends #depth #truth #pastor #honesty